MM11: Carrie Wins.

I’m beginning to think I’m spending far too much time in front of this screen lately. I’m making progress on Jude and Hughes’ story. (Check out the next few chapters here!),

But I’m starting to stiffen up after too many hours at it. There’s always speech-to-text software, but to be honest, talking out my stories weirds me out. I’ll try it eventually.

Imagine it, me spread out over the chaise, talking to my computer clear across the room. Then Houghton will come in, decide the software or my tech set-up isn’t the best possible there is and he’ll play around with it.

Then he’ll want me to demonstrate a scene or two…and of course, I’ll pick the hotter ones.

It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve tried out the chaise, now would it?

Anywayyy…

Off of me and Houghton and back to what’s going on around here…

Carrie won.

They’ll be down here—with the beautiful baby Maddie—first thing in the morning two days from now. They are bringing Simon, Ari’s younger brother, to hang out with Syd for a few days.

Ari has me almost as worried as Jillian. She’s jumping at shadows and so, so quiet. I’m convinced that they both have some PTSD going on, but they won’t let me help them. Not at this point.

All I can do is be here for them, right?

Why is it so hard to just sit by and do nothing when the ones I care about are hurting? Why can’t I just bundle them all up and make the world better for them?

I’m trying not to dwell too much on what happened myself. I’ve been through some crappy times over the past two years, I can get through this too.

Maybe they aren’t the only ones still screwed up by what happened?

I had another nightmare this morning. In it, Jilly and Houghton both died, bleeding out from that damned knife.

Whenever that happens I feel shaky for hours.

There’s another ‘therapy’ group tonight. We’re all going, Jilly, Brynna, Lacy, Ari, and I. Gabby, too. We’ll see.

That’s all I am going to commit to.

Houghton has a full schedule today. There’s still an FBI conference going on at the hotel today. He’s giving them his special presence after the trouble Dr. Dillon experienced.

I may take a car to the hotel and join him for lunch today. Or have Chance drive me. Maybe I could convince Brynna to step inside the hotel this time.

If it has been hard to get Jillian into the hotel, it was next to impossible to get Brynna anywhere near it.

I’ll get her inside eventually. But I get it, I really do. Brynna and Jillian both almost died in the hotel. It makes sense that they don’t want to go there.

I’ll admit, I haven’t gone there without Houghton yet.

Perhaps it is time I do?

I am not going to let what happened keep me from doing anything ever again.

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